My Version of "Swimming" Made It Quite Obvious that I Am Right-Handed

I had Aquatics again today. That was 20 humiliating minutes (of which type of minute there were about twenty-one) of my day (We spend twenty minutes in the pool, we get ten minutes at the beginning to change, and fifteen at the end.). Not only am I the only person in the class who is not in the least bit a proficient swimmer, but I also take twice as long as everybody else to swim two widths of the pool because I'm an awful swimmer. So, while I was at about the midpoint between the two walls of the pool, everyone else had made it to the other side. Once I had gotten to the other side, everybody was back.

This was even and especially true when the teacher "taught the class how to do freestyle." In other words, he was only explaining it to the class because I didn't know. First, he had us hold onto a wall and put our faces in the water and kick-kick-kick-kick-kick-kick-splash-splash-splash-splash-splash-splash while taking breaths (above water) every three seconds.

Then, he had us do this using kick boards, and we had to do two widths. Same breathing. For this part of class, I nearly was able to keep up with the rest of the class. Unfortunately, that glory did not last long before being squashed when arm movements were added.

"You have to keep your elbows bent at a 90 degree angle! And you want your fingers to be kept together, not spread out, so that you cut through the water. Also, don't slap the water-- cut it." Basic, right? No... not really... I guess...

This is where the whole "everybody's better than me and they all move twice as fast as I do" thing comes into the story (Well, it did before, too...). Once I had come back to the wall after my two widths on my own (with many stops to stand and catch my breath along the way), which was more than mildly humiliating, mind you, the teacher told me the following:

"You're doing a great job. This is the first time you've put your face in the water in-- how long?"

"Years," I answered quietly, ashamed.

"Yeah, well, this is a great accomplishment. I'm already seeing a bit of improvement, and that's good. That's all we're looking for." I felt pretty okay about myself until he said the next part. "Now, the weird thing you're doing is that your right arm is spot-on, and it's going at the right angle--" It's funny because 90 degrees is a right angle. "--and your fingers are in the right form, but your left arm just sort of isn't doing it. You're freestyle-ing with your right arm and doggy paddling with your left arm. Are you right-handed?"

"Yes."

"Thought so. That makes sense."

I'm going to go write a song.