Conversationalist

Trying to have conversations with my boyfriend and I is like trying to be a duck. It doesn't work. You can't do it. It just doesn't happen. There are a few topics that work, such as children's TV shows (ie. Spongebob, Scooby Doo, Doug), Pokemon, et cetera. However, after a certain point, I've realized that there's only a certain number of times you can have the same conversation. So, today, I just started looking around the room and naming things, and he was like, "What?" So I explained that I was trying to think of something to say. We went back and forth like this (saying the names of things around the room) for a little while until we realized that that is a stupid conversation, so he gave me the following scenario:

So you're a dinosaur, and you survived the meteor somehow. Then you wandered off and fell asleep. You just woke up in 1957. What kind of dinosaur are you and what do you do now?

Obviously, my answer was to be an omnivorous velociraptor (I KNOW IT DOESN'T EXIST AND NEVER DID, SO DON'T GET MAD AT ME.) and make it my life's mission to be the very best that no one ever was and also to go find my dinosaur friends because it's lonely being the only of my kind. I then proceeded to explain that some dinosaurs survived (birds), to which statement he did not respond.

Nextly, I supplied him with this scenario:

So you're a hooker, and you only screw female teachers, but now anti-feminists are saying that females can no longer teach, and thus there are no more female teachers around. You refuse to stoop as low as a poop-shoveler. Who will you screw?

Instead of naming some other occupation, he supplied me with the name of a dog we saw this summer. There was a joke going around that he is utterly in love with this dog.

I asked him, "How is he even an option?"

After a very short discussion of about four sentences concerning how gay people do it, I said, "Yeah, but he's a dog and smaller, and also, this conversation is definitely over."

The conversation was thusly over.

This post was probably pretty boring, so I'll end it with a picture that sucks because I need to reboot the computer due to a messed up tablet that needs to have the computer rebooted in order to work right again. It says, for those who can't read it, "This is what it looks like when the tablet gets messed up because I need to reboot the computer."

True story.